If I asked you, what is your greatest dream?, what would you answer?
I’ve never known exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. A princess. A fashion designer. An ice skater, a dancer, a writer, and even (for a brief moment) a lawyer. Though my potential occupation constantly changed, there was one running theme through all of my little-girl daydreams: Security.
You may have just said, “what?!,” which is fine; security is probably not on a lot of eight-year-olds’ minds, but it occupied a significant amount of brainspace in eight-year-old Marissa. Outwardly, my greatest dream, what I wanted to be when I grew up, seemed normal. A lot of girls want to be a princess or a ballerina. Inwardly though, my greatest fear was revealed: That I wouldn’t make it in the “adult” world.
Now in college, I find that not much has changed. When I allow my brain to wander, it often wanders to what will happen after college. Right now, actually, I will admit that I am going through a quarter-life crisis. It has me shaken to the core, really, because everything that I had so meticulously planned is now on the cusp of dissolving.
I’m seriously considering dropping the more practical of my two majors (public relations) in favor of something that I really care about. Please don’t misunderstand, I have enjoyed the PR classes that I have taken thus far, and it’s quite interesting, but I find that it’s not…fulfilling. And, if we only get so much time on this earth, then I want to make sure that what I’m doing does more than just affect me.
But, it’s hard to take the leap because in my worldview, it’s not practical. And I’ve been raised and trained by my environment to seek the practical. Practical has also been narrowly defined. There’s not a lot to work with, there.
I’m afraid because if I take this leap and abandoned the practical major, I may not achieve my greatest dream…to take care of myself and do “well” by the standards set for me.
That’s why, when I read this Proverbs 31 email that popped into my inbox, I held onto it. It’s been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks now, but I haven’t been able to let it go. Because Alicia Bruxvoort underscored such a beautiful point: Our greatest dream shouldn’t be material success. Our greatest dream should be Jesus. Bruxvroot wrote: “I wanted Jesus to bless my greatest dreams, but I wasn’t certain I wanted Him to be my greatest dream. I wanted to do ambitious things for my Savior, but I wasn’t planning to make Him my chief ambition.”
Can I say, wow. For all of my life, I have wanted a blessing over my greatest dream, but I never thought to pursue Jesus as my greatest dream. Honestly, that’s probably why, right now, I’m caught in a current of indecisiveness and fear over my schooling.
There’s the wake-up call, though. I think that if I make Jesus my greatest dream, then it doesn’t really matter what I choose. He will find a way for me to serve and do good with whatever whatever degree I receive. Or, He may take me on a path that never related to anything for which I had ever planned. Right now’s a good time to remember: God’s ways are not our ways, and His timing is not our timing.
I hope this encourages you, friends, wherever you are struggling, to make Jesus your greatest dream. When we look at life through the framing of His kingdom, we can be at peace.
Have a wonderful week.